Need a Holiday Time Out?

Ready for a break from the holidays? Join us on 12/12/12 for an informal evening of delicious nibbles and great company to refocus, re-center, and re-energize yourself!

The holiday music and commercials started the day after Halloween.  Christmas trees and Halloween costumes and candy were side by side in stores.  The holidays seem to arrive earlier and earlier each year.  Everywhere you turn there are commercials exhorting us to buy and cook our way into the hearts and minds of those around us!  Can the holidays live up to they hype?

 

• Would you like to not just SURVIVE the holidays but THRIVE?
• Want to figure out ways to protect your time and energy for things that are truly important?
• Need help setting boundaries with difficult people?

Join the coaches of the Pinnacle Empowerment Center on Wednesday, December 12 at 6:00 p.m. and spend some time with other like-minded ladies for a time out from the holiday madness!  Come eat, drink, and mingle with us as we discuss and share ways to keep from getting overwhelmed and reconnect with the purpose of the season.  Here’s a taste of what we came up with just informally discussing how to survive the holidays:

• Not everything has to be perfect!
• Take a few minutes every day to bring joy to someone.
• View the holiday festivities as “optional” rather than “required”. You can’t be everywhere.
• Make sure you make time to get together with people who inspire you – surround yourself positive energy.
• Don’t take it personally – realize that others around you are stressed and reacting to the holiday drama themselves, its not you. Don’t get drawn into it.
• Don’t discuss politics, education or money. If these come up, excuse yourself and indulge in another piece of pie!
• Keep it simple – don’t let the holiday momentum overtake you or allow others to push you into things or events you don’t want to do.
• Refocus the holiday away from the material and on sharing the traditions with those you love. Even starting a new tradition can bring joy.
• Let others help . Delegate or hire out tasks you don’t enjoy or don’t have time to do.

Take a holiday time out for yourself and join us for a wonderful evening to help you re-focus, re-center, and re-energize yourself for the holidays!  Complimentary coaching sessions are available so bring a friend! For more information visit our website or contact us at 410-799-1097 or info (at) empowerctr.org!

Posted by:  Heather C.

Finding More Than a Lost Purse

This is a post from Coach Maria Shepard-Smith who shared this story about an unexpected Christmas Eve Time Out during a discussion about why the holidays seem to get crazier every year.  We hope you’ll enjoy as much as we did!

Maria finds an unexpected refuge and gift while looking for her missing purse!  Photo credit: Daderot (Daderot) [CC0 or CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

 Many years ago I was rushing around at the holiday season on Christmas Eve doing my last minute shopping, after work of course, in Macy’s NYC on 34^thSt. I wasn’t alone, unfortunately there were hundreds of others doing the same thing …what were they doing here…didn’t they finish up early…why were they in my way?

Needless to say, I was harried and rushed and thinking about the hundreds of things I had to do before Christmas day…yes just a measly 6.1/2 hours hence.

Well “I went in” as they sometimes say, you know you hear it all the time ’I am going in’ …knowing just knowing you might not survive the ordeal. Or worse, for me at that moment, that I might not get ‘just the right present’ to add to the lovely holiday spirit and sense of peacefulness that is always being touted at this time of the year, which for me was, at that moment, quickly evaporating.

Yes! I was at the very place where many of us end up, for one reason or another, when it is least expected, and when we can least afford it emotionally…at the brink of extreme angst.

Well, I did survive and in a way that I did not even think was possible when I finally left the store 3 hours later and headed home at the end of the evening.

In the midst of my harried rushing about I had forgotten the real meaning of the season.

As I made my way down the Subway station stairs to catch the train home, I fumbled with my packages and shopping bags for my purse to get a token for the fare. In less then 2 seconds, I realized … I DID NOT HAVE MY PURSE!

I rushed back up the stairs of the Subway, through hoards of folks headed down the stairs. I hurried into Macy’s trying to remember where I could have put my purse down ….you just don’t do that at the height of the shopping season in NY. Well I decided to retrace my steps…going backwards. I made my way to the 7^th floor restroom…the last place I had been before leaving the store.

I rushed into the restroom went through the sitting area and checked the stalls…I knocked on the stall that I had used and asked the woman if she saw my purse hanging on the hook behind the door. ‘No ‘she said, ‘there’s nothing here. For a moment, I didn’t believe her, but then I knew that it had to be true…what was she going to do…stuff it in her bag, (in those days my purse a pretty fair size).

Well, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I began thinking about how I was going to get home. Well, I thought, I’ll give a sob story to the policeman or clerk at the booth. They would let me on the train. After all, it was Christmas Eve. They weren’t going to hold me hostage for the fare…which at that time was .35 cents. Plus, by the time I would have gotten down to the Subway, after my search, I would look like such a sad sack they would take pity on me.

Then of course I began to make a mental list of what important things I had in my purse…not much money…only one credit card…and various other items we all carry in a wallet. The thought of having to plow through the task of unraveling the event of a lost wallet etc. was too much for me.

For some reason, I didn’t lose it, my sanity that is. I just began to settle down. After all, what choice did I have?

With a resigned feeling, I turned to leave the bathroom area to make my way to the other departments in the store where I had shopped. ‘I’ll give it a try,’ I told myself…knowing full well that it would be a futile attempt…but I had to try. I continued ruminating as I walked towards the door to the sitting room. “I’ll head for the ‘lost and found’ department before I leave too,” I said to myself.

As I did so, the matron for the women’s room came into the bathroom area from the outer sitting room. She was a tiny elderly woman with grey hair and glasses. I asked if she had seen a purse. ‘What color?’ she asked. ‘Black’, I replied with a ray of hope. “And how much money was in the purse?” she asked. ‘About two dollars”, I said. ‘Come with me’ she said. She walked me through another door into a small windowless room connected to the sitting area. In this room there were a small table and chairs and some of the restroom supplies. “Is this it?” she asked, as she handed me my purse. I was stunned. Not because she had it, but because it just seemed absolutely impossible that I would get that bag back at all.

I was profuse with my thanks. Perhaps she realized that I had reached the other side of panic, numbness, because she asked me to have tea with her…right there in her little space…and I did. This was a space she used to rest and perhaps to have her meals. She heated water on a small electric burner and took out an English teapot with two matching teacups. As I listened to her tell me a little about her life, while we sipped our tea, I felt a growing sense of peace and gratitude. I had been given a gift…in this little room, sipping tea in bone china teacups with a kind and gentle spirit. I had come upon a refuge…metaphorically and literally.

At the time I was grateful for having been given this moment. I was grateful too because I was able to give her, at that moment…a little gift of companionship on Christmas Eve.

I realized at the time and in looking back at that Christmas Eve, that the genuine meaning of the season or the greater gift is to give of oneself in a simple way.

I also received a bequest, not just a reminder to retreat from the hustle and bustle and share quiet and touching moments with others, but a series of more poignant gifts that reveal themselves each time I relive the experience of sitting in that little room.

When I look back at this experience in my life, and I often do, I realize it has become an allegory for me. It was a moment where I learned something that continues to touch my ‘soul’; something about life and how to ‘be’ beyond the moment. It is something that I cannot cognitively explain, except to say that I feel like I experienced a spiritual connection with humanity.

Finally, the memory of this event continues to touch me deeply because, for me, it is a lens through which other difficult events and experiences can be seen and transformed; transformed from a lost cause to a hopeful resolution, from calamity to a silver lining, from disaster to re-birth.

It has many meanings and lessons and I hope it will touch you all in a way to help you move into and through this special season of the year, and perhaps through any trying a time, with the ability to create a sense of peace within yourself as well as for those around you.

Perhaps the experience was a cue to remind me that we have a greater connection to one another than we are aware of or care to believe. Perhaps it was the pathway to the work I do now. Perhaps it is a chance for me to pass on the awareness that we are all in some way responsible or maybe even destined to support and nurture one another. Perhaps once we start to do this we will all be in a better place as I was in that little room in Macy’s NYC, sipping tea with a kind and gentle soul.

Join Maria and other life coaches and career coaches at a holiday gathering at the Pinnacle Empowerment Center and Refocus, Re-center and Re-energize. Take a break from the holiday chaos and join us for some cheer and inspiration as we wind down the year. Come drink, eat and mingle with us as we discuss and share ways to keep from getting overwhelmed and reconnect with the purpose of the season.

**Complimentary coaching sessions** available

Please bring a friend!

When: Wednesday December 12^th at 6:00pm

Location: 8180 Lark Brown Road, Suite 301, Elkridge, MD 21075

For more information visit click here!

Maria Shepard-Smith is a Life and Career Coach with 15 years of experience coaching and training individuals and empowering them to find their own answers. Coaching is a way of encouraging and supporting clients on their path as they continue to make important choices in life and in their careers. Tune in for more on about how coaching works and how you can benefit! Call Maria at 410-799-1097 ext 304 or email her at maria@empowerctr.org.

Happy Thanksgiving from PEC!

As we wind down this short business week, we take some time this week for Thanksgiving before catapulting into the busy holiday season.  We hope you’ll enjoy these reads as much as we did around PEC!

Permission to Suck

Okay so this is from the folks at MAKE magazine who tend to focus more on engineering and mechanical things, but the reality is, we all have to start somewhere. If you want to wait until you’re perfect at something to get started, you’ll never get going.

Can you Really Have It All? Seven Keys to Finding Balance

As we gear up for the busy holiday season, here are some great tips on how to create the space you need to focus on what’s truly important to you!

The Fermata

Seth Godin ponders the role of the Fermata which isn’t just for music!

Lighting Your Flame

Rochelle Moulton is thankful for those who have helped inspire her and keep her moving.  Who are you thankful for this holiday?

All of us here at PEC are thankful for the wonderful community who support us in our mission.  We hope that you and your families have a wonderful holiday together!

Empowering Yourself: How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are powerful tools that give you freedom to live the life YOU want! Image courtesy Wikimedia.org.

Are you constantly kicking yourself for taking on too much?

Do you keep saying Yes to things you really do not want do?

Do you often feel guilty for saying No?

Do you always feel exhausted?

If you’ve answered YES to any of these questions, here are a few tips on how to set boundaries that will energize you and help you to live your life on your terms.

#1 Figure out your top priorities-or your YES list

Right now take out a piece of paper and make a list of things that are most important to you in your life right now. What brings you the most joy? What gives you energy? What have you most wanted to do but are always moving to the “back burner”? What needs your attention most right now? What do you need to take care of yourself right now? (hint: this should be #1 on your list!)

Now look closely and decide which ones are your top priorities for the next 3 to 6 months. Come up with your TOP 5—or your YES list. Your YES list will help you to say no and let go of the things that are not serving you best right now. Print them out and post them on your calendar, your desk, next to your phone, anywhere you can see them to help you make a very clear-cut decision when a request is made of your time or talents. If it’s not on your Yes list than the answer is NO.

#2 Face and Overcome the Guilt

Anytime you make a change in your life, chances are you will be met with some resistance from those around you. Don’t let that fire up your guilt sensors or make you feel the need to defend your choice. You have the right to choose how you spend your time and control the way you live. As I have built up my “boundary setting muscles” and recovering from the “disease to please” it has helped me to come up with some “stock responses” when I am asked to do something that does not fit into my YES list. A few of them are:

• “Sorry, it’s just not possible for me to do that right now”
• “Thanks for thinking of me, but I will need to decline”

To validate how well this short and to the point method works. I had a colleague say to me “Wow you CAN say no” and then she became more judicious in requests she made of me and had more respect for my time. And what a revelation to me of how I was being perceived! Create your own “stock responses” so you can be less reactive and feel more in control.

#3 Stop Getting Mad and Speak Up

If there are no limits to what people can ask of you, you will constantly feel “under attack”. Over time you will feel resentment, anger and always on guard. Setting boundaries will actually enhance your relationships by helping you to be more open and honest with people. It’s ok to tell others what is acceptable and not acceptable for you. Your authentic self will begin to shine through and ultimately you can begin creating relationships that have mutual respect.

#4 Find Like-Minded Support

Find people who seem to have mastered this skill that you respect and ask for their support. Tell them you would love to hear how they have become so successful at this and can they share some tips. Also, find another person you know that is aspiring to do the same and “buddy-coach” each other to help keep your momentum.

Getting Family Support–Sometimes setting boundaries with family members or those closest to us are the hardest of all. They are used to you doing certain things in a certain way for them that are extremely beneficial to them and the thought of that not occurring scares them. One way to get the family support is to sit down together and create a Family YES list where everyone has some input. It is also good to reinforce to them you cannot take care of them without taking care of yourself first. What a great way for you to model and teach others how to set healthy boundaries for themselves.

#5 Keep Building those Boundaries High and Wide for continued “De-stressing”

I have a friend and fellow coach who said to me (as I was feeling very overwhelmed and questioning my boundary setting abilities) “You need to build those boundaries HIGH and WIDE!” And she was right. To build long lasting boundaries that have the most impact in our life we need to do it in a big way. WE ultimately have the power to define what and who are most important to us. We also have the right to honor how we choose to spend our time to so we can live the most fulfilling life we can. The more you get comfortable setting high and wide boundaries the more calm, focused and in-control you will feel.

Remember Boundaries are not meant to close you in but provide FREEDOM. When you say NO to one thing, it allows you say YES to something you really, really want.

Lisa Dolce is a certified coach and trainer who empowers women to unleash their potential to create successful careers and small businesses.

Talk Back To Us – Ask A Coach!

We’re all ears for your questions! Join us for Ask A Coach!

Ever heard that it’s okay if you talk to yourself but you’re really in trouble if you start answering back?  Well, we want to avoid that!  We want to start conversations about what’s on your mind so we’re creating an Ask A Coach feature and we need YOUR help!

• What questions do you have about how to get started with updating your resume?
• Do you need ideas on how to explain gaps in employment?
• Have you been at home with the kids for the last several years and want to know how you can make your resume more marketable?
• Do you have questions about how to get that small business started?
• Do you feel like there could be more to your life or career but aren’t sure how to identify the changes you can make?

Send us YOUR question and we’ll answer them on Facebook, on the blog, or in a message back to you.  You can post on our Facebook wall, send us a Direct Message, or just send us an email at info(at)empowerctr.org if you’d like to keep your query private.

Don’t forget we have lots of friends in a variety of fields to so if we don’t have the answer, we’ll activate our network and find out!  Look for answers on Thursdays.

Remember, the only stupid question is the one you didn’t ask!

Don’t want to wait?  Take our poll and let us know what topics interest you most!

Do You Have a Story to Share?

Ever thought about writing? Even if you haven’t, I bet you have something to share!

At the Pinnacle Empowerment Center, our vision is to be a place where women can come and get fantastic information they need to launch or invigorate their careers and to be inspired and supported by others.  Our blog has been one of our outlets to share our voice and vision.  We have many voices here at PEC and we’d like to make the tribe even larger.  That’s why we’re asking for you to share your stories to help inspire other women.  When women work together and share with each other, we are all strengthened and inspired.  So what do you say?  Do you have a story to share about switching careers, walking away from a career, finding your work/life balance?  Do you have a time management or productivity tip that makes your day go a little saner?

Don’t worry if you’re not a “writer” (neither was I when I started this) or your grammar skills.  We’ve got editors that can smooth things out.  What we want to hear are your stories and tips – the same way you would share something with a friend or an acquaintance over coffee.  Women learn best from other women.  What can you share that has helped you move forward in your career and life?

Send me a message at heather(at)empowerctr.org and let me know what you’ve got on your mind!

Posted by Heather C.

The Case of the Curious Coach

This post is from PEC’s Life Coach, Maria Shepard-Smith.  

Can a fortunate cookie help you with your life or career decisions? A coach can ask the right questions to guide and empower you!

In Coaching, to help the client move forward the coach asks a series of powerful –open ended questions. The questions are very different from conventional questions that help to gather information and deduce answers. Open ended questions set the stage for the client to think, really think, and find solutions in themselves rather than in the coach. The way the questions are asked and the nature of the questions makes the client resourceful and removes the coach from the role of the ‘expert’ or the one who has the answers.

Here are a few examples that show the difference between conventional questions and open-ended questions. Test them on yourself or someone else to see how conventional questions elicit information and open-ended questions evoke personal exploration.

Conventional Question	Open-Ended Question
Tell your boss you need help on this project.	If you were the boss, how would you design this project?
What are you doing to achieve your goal of being healthier?	What would ‘being healthier’ look like to you?
Are you stuck between those two alternatives?	What would be several other alternatives besides these two.

As you can see, an open-ended question allows the client to explore and discover choices. Believe it or not clients come up with so many possibilities that they surprise themselves. My clients are energized and in a word, empowered. The client’s sense of being able to imagine and develop solutions and plans generates a greater capacity in the client to move forward and take action. The coach’s goal is to clarify and create awareness without superimposing their own values and ideas on the client!

Although an experienced coach is aware when practicing ‘curiosity’ in the form of questions to empower another, we all have the ability and have used the technique in some form or fashion.

An example that comes to mind, before I was aware of the value of open-ended questions, is one about my daughter. When she was about 7, she had the sad experience that many 2^nd graders have of not being able to participate in recess. She had been talking to another student during class time and of course lost the privilege of play time that day. Rather than scold her right off, (a fallback for parents because it makes us feel better…after all bad behavior reflects on us as parents)… ….. I decided to ask her what she thought she should do.

She though for a few minutes and said, “I think I will not sit near Tina from now on during our class work time.” Perfect! So what was achieved (1)- my daughter gained the ability or the beginning of the ability to work out a solution on her own…without me imposing one or ‘the right parental’ solution. (2)-I was enlightened by the fact that hey…she can figure out what to do when faced with a quandary and without me jumping in to give her the answer.

The coach has to do the same for their client. That is to step back and through open-ended questions- allow the answers to surface.

Those clients who come to me for life and/or career coaching usually are facing a series of intertwined challenges. Although it is helpful to work with an expert who will be able to give advice or outline solutions, the real value of coaching is the opportunity to learn ‘how to figure it out’.

When my clients reach the place where they have the awareness that they actually do have the ability to come up with choices they are absolutely motivated to take action. Coaching is a way of effectively empowering people to find their own answers. Coaching is a way of encouraging and supporting clients on their path as they continue to make important choices in life and in their careers.

Tune in for more on about how coaching works and how you can benefit! Call Maria at 410-799-1097 ext 304 or email her at maria@empowerctr.org.

Reading Roundup – Autumn Hooky edition

One of the hidden gems of Howard County, Patapsco Valley State Park’s Cascade Falls in the Orange Grove area.

We’ve been out enjoying the lovely autumn weather and planning our upcoming Mama Lucia’s event on October 23, so I hope you’ll enjoy this list of inspiring reads from around the interwebs! What are you reading? What bloggers get you going? Share!

Top 10 Power Tips for Engaging Your Audience

We are pleased to welcome Cheryl Pullins to the Board of the Pinnacle Empowerment Center! You can see from her blog some of the fantastic talents and energy she brings. In this post, she has some great tips for engaging your audience whether you’re building your own business or heading out for that next job interview. Being prepared and punctual not only keeps you from starting out flustered, and sets the stage for success.

What Makes for Good LinkedIn Recommendation?

Coach Randi Bussin has some great tips on Linked In Recommendations. She recommends personally reaching out to the individual on what the recommendation should include. LinkedIn is a powerful tool and many companies use LinkedIn as a screening tool for applicants!

Summer Reinvention Book List

A friend of The Empowerment Center, Jennifer Ransaw Smith of BRANDid compiled a fantastic list of inspiring reads. I know it was for the summer, but as the weather cools and we move indoors, it is a great time to pick up a few great reads!

Cycle Worse, Cycle Better

“But identifying the down cycle and investing in replacing it with the up cycle is the one and only best strategy. “ Seth Godin points out this works for both individuals and businesses. It is unrealistic to expect the outside stressors to stop or change when you can control how you respond instead.

When to Ignore Organizing Advice

It might seem counter-intuitive on an organizing website, but Deb at Unclutter points out that systems that are too complex or onerous are doomed to fail! Craig Jarrow at Time Management Ninja points out this can be a problem for your Time Management Systems as well!

Have you read or run across anything inspiring lately?

Posted by:  Heather C.

Let’s Go Fishing! Maybe?

By: Cindy Virtue. Job Search Coach.

Are you serious about landing your next job or are you just giving hiring managers a near death experience?

This week I was preparing for my upcoming workshop on how to help teens with their job search and getting ready for a family camping trip to Point Look Out in Southern Maryland where my sister likes to go fishing off their pier. I came across this question from Dick Bowles, Author of “What Color is My Parachute” – How do you fish? Do you choose Pond One that has two fish and ten fishermen or do you choose Pond Two that has twenty fish and only two fishermen?

When I go fishing I like Pond One. Why? I really don’t want to catch anything. I like hanging out with my sister but I have a fear of touching the worm and the fish. I’ll sit there all day, sort of hoping to catching anything only to reel it in and to let it go. This is the “Open Market” in job searching. The Open Market are the job boards, want-ads, placement agencies, etc. This represents less than 20% of all jobs are advertised and yet more than 80% of all job seekers look here!

Now let’s talk about Pond Two. This pond is for the real fisherman, like my sister, who enjoys catching fish all day. The more fish she catches, the more motivated she is to keep trying for that Big Catch of the Day! This is like using the “Hidden Market in Job Search Method”. You access this job market through your personal network, company websites, yellow pages, social media, and by developing leads before they are advertised. More than 80% of all jobs are filled this way but less than 20% of all job seekers look here!

In today’s job market you have to get out of your comfort zone, step up and take charge of your job search, and build relationships that can help you move forward. So, how do you fish?

Cindy Virtue has over seven years of coaching experience. Drawing on her own career transitions experiences, Cindy helps clients chart a path for career success. You can meet Cindy at one of the Empowerment Center’s free monthly Job Clubs.

Finding My Tribe

Don’t we look like a fun bunch? Come hang out with us at Mama Lucia’s on October 23rd to support the Pinnacle Empowerment Center! Photo by: Kristin Mentz.

Going into Pinnacle hardy ever seems like work. From the outset, I’ve left meetings at the Empowerment Center energized and ready to tackle the latest project. It has been one of the most exciting nonprofits I have ever encountered. The main reason is because the women I’ve had the privilege of working with and getting to know.

I’ve met a Women’s Commission Hall of Famer who shares my love of camping, a retired government employee with the soul of a poet, a teacher who spent the last several years working in the Middle East and takes gorgeous photos, and a woman with years of nonprofit experience that freely embraced the new and unknown of social entrepreneurship. Not to mention the social entrepreneur, the former PTA president with serious crabbing skills, and my partner in frugality hints and tips who in her past walked away from a high powered career in banking to remake herself.

Every day, I have been inspired. It is impossible to tell all their stories. But what I found at Pinnacle was a tribe. My own band of Sweet Potato Queens, Ya-Yas, or Red Hatters. A tribe of women that each and every day wake up inspired, energized, and eager to take a step to improve her community and leave it better than she found it. Our morning meetings often segue into interesting conversations about business, families, and society that usually leave me thinking about more than just the details of the upcoming conference or the coming training calendar.

From the beginning, one of the things that we said over and over during the start-up of Pinnacle Empowerment Center was that we wanted to be a place where women could come and be supported, inspired, energized, and informed. In short, empowered.

I think the best way to do that is to find your tribe. Now we want to reach out to you and ask you to help us make this tribe bigger and better! All you have to do is come have lunch or dinner at Mama Lucia’s of Columbia on Tuesday, October 23rd. When you present the flyer below, 10% of your check will be donated to Pinnacle Empowerment Center. If you can come between 5 to 7 pm, our tribe wants to meet you so you too can join the fun!

Come hang out with us and help us expand our tribe and keep the energy going. Help us make Pinnacle Empowerment Center a place where women can come and be supported, inspired, energized, and informed. Help us build a community to support women and together, we can all achieve our goals.

Mamma Lucia – Fundraiser Flyer

Download the flyer and bring the coupon with you to Mama Lucia’s on Tuesday, October 23rd to help support Pinnacle Empowerment Center and our work helping women in our community achieve life and career success!

Posted by:  Heather C.