June 1, 2012 § 3 Comments
We don’t use “shut up” in our house. I know most people and places don’t tolerate using that phrase. It’s an aggressive and rude phrase. I admit I do use it on inanimate objects – but my philosophy that you just need to show machines who’s boss is an issue for another time. After reading an article in this month’s Women’s Health magazine, I am starting to think it’s a phrase that has its place.
The article was about “Imposter Syndrome”, that feeling that you didn’t deserve the positions you’ve attained. I know I am not alone in experiencing this periodically. Many of the women who find their way to the Empowerment Center have also had that same voice telling them that they can’t pursue their dreams for whatever excuse is convenient or they sell themselves and their talents short. I think we need to be more aggressive with our inner negative voice. I think we need to find more ways to say “Shut Up” when it rears its ugly head!
How do we do that? Here are a few considerations to counter the negativity:
- What’s really important? When the voice starts nagging me, I stop and consider what’s important. When you are committed to your goals, and you know your progress, its easier tell that voice to “shut up” when it’s trying to distract you with something like dusting.
- Do I really care about this? This is a question I ask myself not only when the inner voice is fighting dirty, but also to stop myself when I try to take back tasks I have delegated to others. My husband imported the phrase “Honey badger don’t care” from work and we toss it around as a reminder. It’s stupid, but it works.
- Will I regret this on my deathbed? Okay, I know this is a worn-out analogy, but really people, I REFUSE to be sobbing over lost bathroom scrubbing opportunities. Try picturing yourself on your deathbed passionately telling your gathered friends and family, “You know, I really wish I had spent more time doing stuff for that committee.” Does it work? Nah, I didn’t think so.
- What IS the standard to shoot for here? A woman I know mentioned that her philosophy on cooking was that she did what was necessary to keep everyone in her house alive, but she didn’t like to cook and wasn’t going to expend a great deal of energy on cooking because there were other things she’d rather be doing with her family. Make your peace with your standard and move on.
- Drown it out with your Pips. Having positive people around you that boost you up can overpower that one small negative voice. Create your own success team by surrounding yourself with mentors and supporters who believe in what you can achieve and tell you that over and over again. Choreographed dance routines optional but always welcome.
What do you do to silence that voice that tries to tell you you’re not good enough at (fill in the blank here)?
For a deeper dig into this topic, I recommend Good Enough is the New Perfect by Hollee Schwartz Temple and Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project” for inspiration.